The Great Ink Shortage of 1807 & You're Fired!

I'd like to kick off with a farewell to one of my favourite American racehorses in recent years, 2006 Argentina Triple Crown Winner, 2006 Breeders Cup Classic victor & 2007 Dubai World Cup hero & Horse of the Year 2006, Invasor (above) who was retired on Saturday with an injury to his right hind sesamoid bone - basically his ankle. Good luck in your new career as a stallion & I can't wait to see his babies on the track.

Back to our world & things reached crisis point in our little buble of joy & happiness otherwise known as the workplace. First out printers are running dry & J simply refuses to believe me when I tell her the only printer (we all have different models - don't ask) that has a million spare cartridges is her own. Funny that. She uses her printer the least yet has a plentiful supply of ink.

This event has been brewing for the past two weeks & we aren't allowed to rectify our piss poor situation ourselves as JK offered to do an ink run - all marine style al la Jake Gyllenhaal's battery run in Jarhead, purely for my benefit! - but got shot down before he even made it to his car. Yeah JK real useful! So we are now using the situation as an excuse to do no work.

To cut a long story short, D has left us citing its two stressful working here. Pft. She should have been in this morning when I was all alone & not one but TWO phones were ringing relentlessly. As good as I am, even I can't answer them both at once! Anyway we may be getting a new modern apprentice person (they could be male or female, we aren't bothered) in the next few weeks. Yeah like when J & E are on holiday so Im left alone with them, tearing my hair out at their incompetence. Its bad enough keeping the place together on my own but when I have to watch over a useless apprentice it makes it twice as hard going. I don't know how Sir Alan manages it! On the plus side J is acting all concerned in case I up & leave too. Hehe.

Ciao for now

TJ

Cold, So Cold & I Quit

A big thank you to our ante post Derby hope of next year, Maze & Maraahel (above) who is fast becoming one of my fave racehorses of all time... even if he is owned by a rich Arab. The winner of The Royal Ascot Challenge was Top Dog, who came with a late flourish to clinch it. Well done!

1st place ----- Top Dog ----- 4 winners

2nd place ----- TJ ------ 3 winners

3rd place ----- Mini Cooper ----- 2 winners

We are now £324 down for the year & I hereby announce that I officially quit flat race betting as of today. My expertise lies with National Hunt horses & i can't afford to loose this much money every month, with the peanuts I earn. I don't mind giving the guys tips if they ask me nor indeed you guys but Im not personally putting any money up except for my choosen few all time favourite horses.

My first mini moan is; I was so cold at work today that I had to wear one of our company fleeces. Only mine kept folding over at the collar bit coz Im small & the jacket was a medium but I didn't care as I was warm!! Anyway it folded quite conveniently over the first bit of our company name so all it said (to the guys great amusement of course) was "ass". I don't mind that one as it IS my best feature if I don't say so myself. That's the only part of myself I like. Oh and my hair. I have great hair!

Another thing annoying me a little was the lack of explosion re AT & his use of a company vehicle for a private venture. Our rather soft leader it has to be said had calmed down over the weekend to the point he was virtually horizontal so he didn't even have a quiet word about the incident. He just let it slide. I personally can become angry over something at the drop of a hat - especially this week.

In happier news (or at least it is for some folk) my mam has bagged some free tickets through her mates husband to see Rod Stewart tonight at Newcastle Stadium. She saw him years ago when I was a much younger girl & it pissed down with rain then as well! How unlucky is that?! On the subject of concerts / gigs / shows or whatever the hell you wanna call them, I still aim to see Franz Ferdinand, Kaiser Chiefs, Sugababes, Gwen Stefani, No Doubt, Bon Jovi, U2, Madonna, Spice Girls, Sting, Scissor Sisters & Bryan Adams (again) before I shake off my mortal coil.

Ciao for now x

TJ

The Spices Are Back!!, Regrets & Explosions Abound

Wohoo! The Spice Girls are as close as ever to signing a deal to do a farewell tour. God I'd love to see them as I never got to see them the first time around. They rock.

Today was much the same as yesterday with the boys kicking themselves for missing some nice priced winners.... Im sure God was reading my previous post as I was moaning that flat racing odds were too short. Not so today! Hell even I missed my second favourite filly in training, Indian Ink as I got blinded by Beo's brilliance... just not on soft ground evidently. So we only had one winner again in the form of Boscobel & Top Dog got the Queens Outfit right - well blue did have to stick one day after four days of suggesting it!

This puts todays tally at:-

1st place ----- TJ ----- 3 winners

2nd place ----- Top Dog ----- 3 winners

3rd place ----- Mini Cooper ----- 1 winner

The final days tips are:-

TJ:- Queens Outfit Light Green 2.30pm Feared In Flight 3.05 Admiral's Cruise 3.45 Amadeus Wolf 4.25 Ripples Maid 5.00 Mikao 5.35 Madiba

Top Dog:- Queens Outfit Lilac 2.30pm Maze 3.05 Scorpion 3.45 Miss Andretti 4.25 Hogmaneigh 5.00 Rayhani 5.35 Dark Parade

Mini Cooper:- Queens Outfit Biscuit Brown 2.30pm Double Attack 3.05 Lineas Selection 3.45 Magnus 4.25 Zidane 5.00 Cedar Mountain 5.35 Secret Ploy

Also on the tips front my dads friends horse Hits Only Money runs in the 4.00 at Ayr tomorrow - do not back it! He's running over 1m & all of his wins have come over 6f. He has struggled something chronic over 1m in the past. Now watch him win!

Ok so I feel a bit more like talking today. The thing that hacked me off most today was one of our Directors (BR the one that wants me out) made a point of saying I wasn't wearing uniform to work... we don't have a strict uniform anyway. We can wear black trousers & jacket with a white or light blue shirt. I only wear white ones & a full suit. How am I not in uniform?? He said it was coz it didn't have out company name on the suit jacket, even though it has on my shirt & I did have my jacket off all day seeing as it was warm. He happened to see me as we were locking up for the weekend & I had my jacket on to save me from carrying it. If he wants to start a fight he can coz Im not having our name put on my expensive suit jacket just for me to lose my job then have a jacket thats useless. This was coming from the man in a pair of natty grey trousers, short sleeved red, grey & blue checky shirt & about six buttons undone. Yeah thats really our company's uniform isn't it? Wanker.

I've been trying to encourage my protege to leave all week - not coz I want rid (although I do) but because the placement she can be put in is the Civic Centre & once you're in there you are laughing. But she doesn't know if she wants to leave or not though I suspect J will give her the boot long before the month is out because today I had to deal with the fall out of one of D's mistakes. She took a booking but didnt actually put it in the diary. Subsequently another person booked the bus so the first woman was ranting & raving like a good un - what is it with shouting on a Friday?! - but luckily we managed to fit her in thanks to some creative thinking. Well done AF for that brainwave!

Also D's dad is in hot water when he gets back on Monday. He was specifically told to have his bus back at base by 5pm last night as the bus needed filling with fuel for its trip to Scotland today. He brought it back at 7.15pm .... he'd been using it as his personal removal van & E is gunning for him big time.

Monday is shaping up to be quite an explosive day. It should be fun!

Ciao for now

TJ

The Yeats Are Paved With Gold! :D

Thank you Yeats! You were the only winner for us today & my Festival Banker. I was devastated when he got injured and missed the 2004 Derby as he would have walked it. Still him not winning that means I have had the chance to enjoy him for three extra years & I would love to see him in the flesh. Anyway I have had nothing but moaning from Mini C all day for missing the first two winners. Like I said yesterday, follow your damn hearts people. The stupid thing was we were on the phone to each other for ages last night discussing the tips I'd published. I told him Silkwood & Winker Watson looked nice bets but would he listen?!

So after another slow day the leader board stands as follows:-

1st place ----- TJ ----- 3 winners

2nd place ----- Mini Cooper ----- 1 winner

3rd place ----- Top Dog ----- 1 winner

And because when we do actually have a winner the returns are all shit coz the odds are so short, I am proposing we quit betting on the Flat. We are in the red again & we still have two days to go! I was planning on using my share of the winnings to pay off my credit card bill. Grr. So Day 4 tips are:-

TJ:- Queens Outfit Light Green 2.30pm Baffled / Alizadora 3.05 Lucarno 3.45 Finsceal Beo 4.20 Charlie Cool 4.55 Brisk Breeze 5.30 Black Charmer / Song of Passion (EW)

Top Dog:- Queens Outfit Light Blue 2.30pm Janina 3.05 Boscobel 3.45 Darjina 4.20 Emirates Skyline 4.55 Secret Tune 5.30 Eisteddfod

Mini Cooper:- Queens Outfit Lilac 2.30pm Loch Jipp 3.05 Spice Route 3.45 Mi Emma 4.20 Lake Poet 4.55 Metaphoric 5.30 Wise Dennis

Now I can't be bothered to say anymore so I'll say ciao for now

TJ

Girl Power! & A Battle Of The Jokes

Aah my beautiful Nannina (red colours). I knew you still had it in you & you saved our day by keeping us breaking even rather than in the red! It was a day of "oh so nearly" stories as my Starlit Sands was unlucky over the stiff 5f, I almost stuck with Lemon Yellow as the Queens outfit for today & Mini Cooper missed Tariq in the first - I keep telling you to follow your hearts!

So today with only one win the scoreboard looks like this:-

1st place ----- TJ ----- 2 winners

2nd place ----- Mini Cooper ----- 1 winner

3rd place ----- Top Dog ----- 1 winner

And I'll get tomorrows tips straight out of the way:-

TJ:- Queens Outfit Lilac 2.30pm Spirit of Sharjah 3.05 Cosmodrome 3.45 Yeats 4.20 Annemasse 4.55 Supersonic Dave 5.30 Eradicate

Top Dog:- Queens Outfit Light Blue 2.30pm Warsaw 3.05 All My Loving 3.45 Allegretto / Geordieland (EW) 4.20 Shmookh 4.55 Champery 5.30 Record Breaker

Mini Cooper:- Queens Outfit Cream 2.30pm Drawnfromthe past (if a starter) or Roker Park 3.05 Party 3.45 Sergeant Cecil 4.20 Slate 4.55 Tranquil Tiger 5.30 Fever

I once again can't be bothered to recount what happened between J & D at their meeting today except to say D has a month to improve or she's out of here. Oh & I have a couple of jokes to share courtesy of Top Dog & Mini Cooper. Top Dog sent me his first:-

Wife says, "Did you know a bull can manage sex every day? That's 365 times a year! Husband replies, "Yes but he doesn't have to shag the same fucking cow every time"

Then not 10 minutes later did Mini Cooper hit back with this:-

A man in a mask bursts into a sperm bank with a gun. "Open the fucking safe" he shouts to the manageress. He then says "Now take a sample out and drink it". She drinks it and wipes her mouth. Suddenly the man takes off his mask to reveal its her husband. He says, "See, its not that fucking difficult is it?"

Oh how the boys in our office enjoyed those. As a female I have to say I am shocked & appalled & don't see why I should be subjected to this kind of thing just to prove who has the better jokes. Though for the record I liked Top Dog's best!

Ciao for now

TJ

The Knives Are Out & Wohoo A 20-1 Beauty!

A big thanks to Miss Andretti, Excellent Art & Full House & although I'd consider it a successful day, Top Dog ain't happy as he missed Ramonti at 5's. I told him it didn't matter coz in the grand scheme of things £60 is neither here no there at this early stage. It didn't help his mood, funnily enough! So after Day 1 things stand like this:-

1st place ----- Mini Cooper ----- 1 winner

2nd place ----- TJ ----- 1 winner

3rd place ----- Top Dog ----- 1 winner

And I may as well crack on with tomorrows tips:-

TJ:- Queens Outfit Peach 2.30pm Majour Cadeaux 3.05 Nannina 3.45 Notnowcato 4.20 Skhilling Spirit 4.55 Starlit Sands 5.30 Cliche

Top Dog:- Queens Outfit Light Blue 2.30pm US Ranger 3.05 Echelon 3.45 Dylan Thomas 4.20 Flipando 4.55 Sweepstakes 5.30 Italian Girl

Mini Cooper:- Queens Outfit Light Green 2.30pm Chariots of Fire 3.05 Expensive 3.45 Red Rocks 4.20 Humungous 4.55 Polar Circle 5.30 Lady Gloria

In other news today: our flights to Tenerife for our New Year getaway have been cancelled with no warning & for no reason, although we are going to get our money back. And my bosses E & J have booked yet another holiday for 11-18 July 2007.

I also had a big piece ready to go about how J has it in for my protege but my hearts not in it anymore. I will say that J's having a meeting with D tomorrow & if D doesn't get her act together it will be curtains for her. Wish I was that lucky!

Ciao for now

TJ

Move Over Schumi, There's A New Legend In Town

How fantastic is Lewis Hamilton (above duh) driving at the moment? He's rekindled my passion for Formula One. Anyway my not so stupid bet at the start of the season for him to be World Champion is looking mighty tasty & will easily wipe out any debts we have come the end of the year thanks to horse racing. Boys, have I EVER knowingly let you down??

Anyway on to Day one at Royal Ascot. We are even having a bet as to which colour the Queen will be wearing tomorrow. Our tips are:-

TJ:- Queens Outfit Lemon Yellow 2.30pm Declaration of War 3.05 Benbaun / Enticing (EW) 3.45 Dutch Art / Excellent Art (EW) 4.20 George Washington 4.55 Princelet 5.30 Fred's Lad

Top Dog:- Queens Outfit Light Blue 2.30pm Coasting 3.05 Miss Andretti 3.45 Cockney Rebel 4.20 Cesare 4.55 Raslan 5.30 Dark Angel

Mini Cooper:- Queens Outfit Lilac 2.30pm Luck Money 3.05 Bentley Biscuit 3.45 Creachadoir 4.20 Red Evie 4.55 Full House 5.30 Russian Reel

I had to go to the dentist today for a check up. I also wanted to talk to him about the toothache I keep getting. I have a hole in my tooth & need a filing. I have to go back to get the work done on - get this - Friday 13th. Eek! Moreover I have to pay £43.60 for the privilege. Grr.

In other news my dad has pulled out of a business venture coz he can't own the 45% stake that he wants for the amount of money he'd have put in. However there may be some other deal on the go in the near future. I might quit my job & be a layabout heiress like Paris Hilton et al!

Ciao for now

TJ

Captain Jack's Back .... No Not Sparrow: Harkness

Mmm. I was over the moon last night as Captain Jack Harkness (played by John Barrowman) made a guest appearance in Doctor Who. John's hot... even if he is gay. Just goes to show Im not prejudice & will fancy anyone! I seem to have a thing for "Johns" if you include Mr Depp.

Anyhoo thats all I want to say! Ciao for now

TJ

Holidays, Marines & Chocolates: The Way To My Heart!

I was at a hen do on Sat night & we are gutted to find out that if we'd gone to our regular haunts we'd have bumped into a shed load of marines. Grr. Still we got to drool over them in uniform the next day on HMS Bulwark (see bottom pic). God they were HOT.

Anyway I now have a holiday booked so Im on a high. Its a weeks cruise calling in various ports in Greece & Turkey . My dad must have got sick of me moaning about a chav holiday! The only concern for me is the ship. When the previous company owned it, this ship, The Calypso (top pic) was featured twice on TV on "Holidays From Hell" in relation to people getting stomach bugs due to the lack of cleanliness on board. Eek! However you would think that under new owners Thomson, she'd be up to scratch. I usually love Thomson cruises / ships coz you know exactly where you are with them.

Finally, I got a hugh tin of Quality Street at work. I don't know where from. It just appeared on my desk with a typed note saying, "Eat me TJ. You know you want to! x" The search is on to find out who put them there.

Ciao for now

TJ

Four More In The Bag!!

A well deserved thanks to Declaration of War, Aqaleem, Blythe Knigh, Nostferatu & Authorized to adding to our coffers on Derby Day. Top Dog isn't a happy bunny as I talked him out of a 7-1 shot lasr night in Hogmaneigh, citing the fact he had too much weight to carry. Boy was I wrong. Make a note of this historic moment people coz I'm usually NEVER in the wrong! He will however forgive me if I do something that is not printable on this blog. Guess I'll have a very peaceful year not talking to my fellow syndicate buddies as Mini Cooper is also pissed off he deserted Song of Passion at 10-1 in the last. Boys, I'm tired of telling you to follow your hearts & not your heads. Anyway, the Derby Double Champion is me!!

1st place ----- TJ ----- 4 individual winners ----- £290 won

2nd place ----- Top Dog ----- 3 individual winners ----- £199.50 won

3rd place ----- Mini Cooper ----- 3 individual winners ----- £127.50 won

In the end we showed a modest £177 profit & putting that towards our previous debt of £209 means - big fanfare - we are now only £32 down for the year. Wohoo! We can easy win that back at Royal Ascot in a few weeks time.... on second thoughts there are five days of Ascot. We'll probably be back in the red before you know it. But thats the life of a punter I guess.

Ciao for now

TJ

Six Out Of Seven.... Did You Keep Your Faith In Us?!

My we were on fire today... which usually means catastrophy come tomorrow but congratulations anyway to Echelon, Scorpion, Light Shift (Number 8 in top pic), Unshakable (number 14 in bottom pic), Lake Poet and Vitznau for providing us with some fab winners. It means we are in profit for the day but still haven't quite written off our debt from previous festivals but a few more wins like today should put that right. We can almost smell the debt free air!

Anyhow, the standings are as follows:-

1st place ----- TJ ----- 2 winners

2nd place ----- Top Dog ----- 2 winners

3rd place ----- Mini Cooper ----- 2 winners

I was going to rant quite viciously about a heavy workload the past few days but strangely enough the prospect of winning money has made me very happy. Also, I finally have some time booked off at work (23rd - 29th July) although we don't have any destination in mind just yet. Basically so long as its hot & I'm in a 4 star hotel I dont mind.... even with the thought of places being full with chavs & their horrid kids as its the first week of the school holidays. Eww. The reason we are slumming it this year is the fact my dad has bribed us. IE we save money on a holiday this year & we can have a 2 week luxury cruise on one of the massive Royal Caribbean ships next year. Some things are worth a sacrifice!

So here's hoping to continue our winning streak with the following beauties:-

TJ:- 2.00pm Fever 2.30 Mister Hardy / Declaration of War 3.00 Blythe Knight 3.30 Caribbean Coral 4.20 Lucarno (EW) / Strategic Prince 5.05 Leslingtaylor 5.40 Dhaular Dhar

Top Dog:- 2.00pm Jeer 2.30 Cracking 3.00 Blue Ksar 3.30 Corridor Creeper 4.20 Aqaleem (EW) / Admiralofthefleet 5.05 Sphinx 5.40 Beaver Patrol

Mini Cooper:- 2.00pm Duke of Tuscany 2.30 Mount Pleasure 3.00 Ordnance Row 3.30 Wyatt Earp 4.20 Authorized 5.05 Flying Clarets 5.40 Bahamian Pirate

And finally on another very happy note, Pirates 3 last night was fantastic - even more so since the powers that be have left the way open for a 4th movie. Wohoo! More Johnny D. I'm so in love!

Ciao for now

TJ