I Am Loved - Yay!

Nothing to rant about because I got a large tin of Quality Street at work today. Technically it was for the whole office but J & E are on a diet & JK & the other guys are still on their driving course. So they are mine. All mine. Muahahahah!!

Sly Digs, Doctored Reports & A Protege Or A Subtle Replacement???

This picture is of a Planters Punch cocktail in case you were wondering, another of my fave tipples while cruising round the Med last September. It comprises of dark rum (preferably Morgan's as its stronger!) orange juice, grenadine & a dash of lemon. The ones on holiday looked fuck all like the one above but I like the pic anyway. Its put me nicely in the holiday spirit; which brings me onto my first rant point.

Did you see how I cleverly linked the two together?? My talents as a writer are wasted. Anyhoo We all got letters on official company letter headed paper today laying down the law on how we go about asking for holidays (of course E & J haven't received these letters. I wonder why not). We have a cunning plan though - still book the holiday before putting in the request form but when we do put in the form, instead of saying "I need these days off" we shall say one of the following, " Can I / May I / Is it ok if / Is is possible to have these days off please?" because so long as our jobs are covered by someone else in our absense & the days we want dont overlap with a person doing the same job, then we should be ok, according to this letter.

Slight update on this consultant report. Ourselves and the Directors received a report 22 pages long, however the original report the consultants sent to this particular underhand Director (as mentioned yesterday) was 38 pages long. Wonder what secrets those "missing pages" contain & isn't it illegal to go round changing official reports paid for by the Government??

And finally:- We are getting a 18yo female volunteer starting on Monday to do a bit of data entry that I refused to do in protest of the above mentioned report. She'd the daughter of our driver AT. I have to take her under my wing & help train her - as if I don't have enough to do. I hate doing this kind of thing. J said it would be good experience to have a protege to nurture. AT said I could get her to do all the stuff I hate. R siad she may well end up replacing me if certain Directors get their way.

So what started out as me feeling excited at getting another female in to re-dress the balance of male power (yeah right) within the office, has now got me preparing for a potential battle for my job. JK, all the way from Newcastle on his PCV training told me not to forget the mud. When asked to elaborate he replied, "For the naked mud wrestling fight to see who gets the job."

Isn't that kind of talk classed as sexist & is something I can actually sue for?!

Ciao for now.

TJ

Fixed Reports & Yes Sir, No Sir, Three Bags Full Sir

First things first. This week I am loving the movie Crank, starring Jason Statham. If you ain't seen it - what's wrong with you?? Its a great way to pass 90mins, with all its mindless violence, drugs, sex, car chases & of course the sexy Mr Statham. Britian has actually got something right for once!

Back to business. This consultant report I mentioned a while ago has been back for weeks although none of use have been allowed to see it. Apparently its damning regarding some of our business practices, like, we deliberately go to the more sympathetic Directors when we want something. This isn't actually true. We only see this Director a lot the report is alluding to because he is head of the "staffing committee" & we always have grievences regarding our pay, working conditions & job descriptions.

The reports also been censored as the bits written about the Directors has mysteriously vanished. Its also obvious from the way the entire thing is worded that our most hated Director has had a influence on it. Its also mauls the rest of us while JK hasnt even got a mention. Whether this is a good or a bad thing, remains to be seen. There is a meeting next Wed to discuss the findings. I'd love to be a fly on the wall for that one.

And just to top the day off nicely, that school I mentioned twice before - the one with 3 people trying to organise bookings for the same event - now has a fourth person getting involved. A complete dick head of a teacher that just charged into the office without an appointment & expected to be seen. I mean we aren't busy or anything what with just the two of us in the office as the other guys are out on their PCV driver training & aren't back in the office til next Wednesday. Long story short, he changed everything yet again, had a list of unreasonable demands we refused to pander to and spoke to both myself & J like we were pupils of his which really did nothing to make us more flexible regarding his demands. God he's an arse.

Still worse things happen at sea, as they say especially in the case of the MCS Napoli. Come to think of it, the guys might not be doing their training after all. They may be in Devon looting cargo from the stricken vessel. That really wouldn't surprise me.

I have also been a bit of a domestic goddess in the kitchen lately, baking butterfly cakes. My favourite. Yum!

Ciao for now.

TJ

Happy 31st Bday Emma B! x

Hope you have a good one & received loads of nice, expensive prezzies!

Please Don't Sack Me. Im Allowed Time Off - Honest

This is what we are all fighting over today. Our holidays. Or more specifically when we can actually take them. IE everyone in the whole damn office wants to take them in September - like its the only bloody month in the whole year. I am quite happy for them to all fight over Sept as I will go away anytime, Im not fussed so long as Im not a work, with a cocktail in hand.

What pissed me off big style was my dad booked flights for our new year getaway to Tenerife (for 14 of us mostly made up of people that I hate & if he thinks Im sharing a room with JN again he can go jump off a bridge somewhere) from 28 dec to 4 jan 2008. Please note, our office closes 21 dec - 3 jan 08 so I only use two days of my holiday entitlement of which Im still only getting 21 days for 2007. Fucking brilliant. But I digress. What pissed me off was this:-

I asked J for the 28 dec - 4 jan off. She was like "you have to fill in a holiday request form before you book the actual holiday."
"Yes," I said. "I would have had you actually been in the office instead of skiving at the tanning salon. Besides my dad just booked it without consulting me."
"Your dad doesn't work for us. You do. Someone needs to be in the office to cover my job."
"The office is closed then for xmas & new year," I pointed out. "I only miss two days & you are in work then anyway."

Of course you should never point out you are in the right to your boss. They get all hoity toity & hide behind the companies rules & regs in a desperate attempt to look all high & mighty, big & clever and J was no exception.

"How am I supposed to fight for payrises for us when you don't play by the companies proceedures?"

I swear to god I nearly smacked her in the face there & then. Me not playing by company proceedures?? This coming from the woman that has stayed off work because of hang overs, left early because... well because Im there to cover, takes 2 hour lunches when its company policy for a single hour, has me lie to people saying she's in a meeting when she's actually at the hairdressers or visiting her parents, hell takes 28 days holiday a year when she's only entitled to 25, - do I REALLY need to go on? If I am going against company proceedures then its because I've had a bloody good teacher. But I digress again - that statement has fuck all to do with holidays. Its probably border line blackmail. I mean I have 3 days entitlement from 2006 left which I HAVE to take the second week of Feb because J says thats the only time I can have coz we are too busy any other time. What bollocks but thats not the point. The point is, I can't even pick what days I want off now - I am just told & apparently I have to be ok with it. NO ONE else gets told. Which I'll get to in a second.

Of course I was like; ok.... regarding her above line & was thinking just what the hell to say to that when she followed up with:-

"This should be a written down disciplinary incident but (& here is where she trys to be your best pal again) I don't think we should do that. That's why Im talking to you now."

Do you know I really wish it was put on record as my first strike coz right now, nothing would please me more than to leave that bastard place for a job with wages that actually reflect the amount of work I do.

What sent me over the edge (as if all that wasn't enough) JK was looking in the diary later in the afternoon. I thought he was looking for something but couldn't find it so I offered to help. "Its alright," he said "Im just putting my holidays in for March. Im going to Amsterdam for a few days then down London to see my family." Why did that send me over the edge? He didn't put in a request form & hasn't even told J he's away yet & I had to sit & listen to her go on about fucking disciplinary action when the office is shut anyway. Im so fucking livid I can't put it into words. But you know what the killer thing is?? J & E themselves haven't filled in a form for their holidays in March & September. Hypocritical bastards.

Oh & just in case you wondered, I did actually get the time off but thats not the point.

Ciao

TJ

Holidays From Hell & What's In A Name?

Ok so there are a few things annoying me today so I'll just dive right it.

1) I can't take my main holiday in September coz my boss J & E like to go then which is sort of fine but they are looking at a cruise for 28 Sept thil 14 oct. The last time I checked there were three other weeks in September. Please correct me if Im wrong. Anyhow that just narked me. What did the pissing off was JK saying he'd probably go away for his main holiday in September & J never warned him off at all. She made such a song and dance about it towards me. God Im so peeved.

2) On a related subject, Im pissed off that I keep getting overlooked for my increase in annual leave. IE everyone else gets between 25 & 27 days off & I only get 21, which was because when I joined it was on a six month temporary contract. However I have now been here for eighteen months & should have had it increased to 25 for 2007 but so far nothings doing.

3)Sick of R calling me "shorty" today, which I hate. Now I know Im vertically challenged but its beginning to grate as you don't go round calling a fat person "fatty" as a term of affection. Not unless you want to be sued. He is the only person ever to usually get away with calling me that because I can normally forgive him anything. But not today. Even one of the girls, S I was away on holiday with insisted on calling me Nadz when drunk. A nickname I have fought over for many years with my dad while i was growing up.

I hate it! God I have a name that can't be shortened to anything decent so don't bother. It's either TJ or a pet name like darling, sweetie, hon / honey pie. Or in the case of my bosses E, Flower & J, Love. In fact no one at work uses my name unless Im getting wrong or a Director is present. Hell even the clients calle me darling or sweetie, which technically means I can be sued under the Trades Description Act coz I am anything but sweet. Just ask the boys: whose afternoon tea I spiked with salt instead of sugar. Hehe.

Finally I am not amused that I have to avoid bumping into R who is out clubbing down the town tonight to save myself from anymore torturing come next Monday.

Ciao for now.

TJ

Broken Friendships & True Predictions

I wish people would stop picking on me today when Im not feeling well. Me & R had a big row which upset me as he is my fave workmate. We fell out because he got a bollocking off J for not reading his work sheets as a client phoned to say they hadn't been picked up.

He blamed me for changing the sheets & not telling him which he knows fine well I wouldn't do. I look after the guys & personally phone them with any changes to their workloads there may be. I didn't know this person was back on the list just as much as he didnt. Though he should have read his list regardless before setting out on his rounds. I hadn't looked at the sheet because I've been snowed under playing catch up since I came back from my hols. I just haven't had the time to molly coddle anyone.

So he took me downstairs to the meeting room and shouted at me. As Im not well I just took it instead of fighting back. thats twice in as many days I've done that now.If I thought the day couldn't get any worse, I was wrong.

Some two hours later a blok who had spoken to both me and JK well before xmas came on the phone to check his bookings for this year. He had none because he'd never actually phoned back to confirm what he wanted. (see an earlier entry for my prediction that this very thing would happen in 2007) Of course he claimed he had done so & started having a go at me, trying to say it was my fault for not booking them in. Quite frankly I was in no mood to cope with being shouted at; not after R & being unwell & its nearly PMT time again so that always makes me emotional. So i put him on hold, informed my boss J what was going on, she took the call & dealt with him.

Meanwhile I left the office for a early lunch & a very good cry with JK who told me not to stress about guys like him as he was only shouting at me because he'd be getting a bollocking from his own boss for screwing up. So a cup of Starbucks, a piece of chocolate cake and a massive & rather nice hug later, we returned once more into the breach.

Peace was once more restored when R made up with me at about 3pm when he started taking the mick out of my Johnny Depp calender that adorns my office wall. He keeps passing comment on how ugly he is. Anyway it broke the ice between us & we are back to being the best of friends. So much so that he suggested our office do a naked calender for next year to raise funds for our charity. He said the drivers could drape themselves over the buses in a variety of poses and that us girls could be Miss December & Mrs January till I pointed out we would be getting the coldest months, to which he replied "yeah coz some of us guys are small enough in that department without the cold having an effect. - Not me though!" So great, I now have visions of him & another of our drivers, AT naked as AT was talking about getting naked for me just after lunch. Im sure there are laws against such talk aimed at female staff by her male colleagues....

Also its R's birthday next Tues (16 Jan). He'll be 41, the old timer. He doesnt know we know when his birthday is... but we do honey and boy, by the time we are through with you, you're going to wish you never showed up for work that day :D

BTW I figured out what I liked most about Marines: Its the guy in the uniform with rippling pecs & a big weapon.

Ciao for now.

TJ

Crossed Wires & Mixed Messages

Crossed wires Ok so today Im peeved off about one particular client of ours which is a school so say no more really. Anyhow, three people from this school are all trying to book buses for the same thing, so instead of just one person taking control I have to deal with three of them and each one says something different. IE NJ says they want three buses to take them there, but only two to bring them back; CB says they want three buses both ways and AB says they want two buses each way. So forgive me if Im a little narked off but I hate being confused. I just wish they'd get together in the same room, discuss what they actually want, then call me. This has been on-going since mid-December. Bloody hell people, make a decision already.

Mixed Messages Another thing pissing me off:- people in general who don't say what they mean. Im sure we're all been in the situation before where you like someone but can't tell if they like you back because you keep getting mixed messages. Its got poor AF in a spin. He doesn't know whether he's coming or going & the girl he's after is all over him, texting & calling one day then when he does some running as it were, she backs off completely & is all vague & nonchalent.

So he is unsure if she wants to be his proper girlfriend or just remain a casual date. I said he should just ask her outright but in all honesty I wouldn't have the courage to do the same in case I'd read the signals wrong and got laughed at. Fledgling, potential relationships are so shitty. Of course R's pearls of wisdom was thus:- "Just shag her brains out & don't stress about having a serious relationship. At least you don't have to meet her family or play house with her and you can easily trade up when a better girl comes along." YOu know I seriously wonder how he's stayed married for twenty one years. I feel sorry for his poor wife coz I have enough of him at work. She deserves a medal. And finally I shall leave you with one last parting shot:-

Mmm.... Marines. That fantasy is still working for me from the other night. Dunno what does it for me the most: the uniform, the pecs or the size of their weapons. I'll just go ponder that one some more.

Ciao

TJ

It's Good To Be Back ... Or Maybe Not

As you can tell I was watching Jarhead last night. Mmm check out that body. Jakey Gyllenhaal how I worship thee. Especially when you look like a marine... the gay cowboy gig didn't do anything for me in that respect. Anyway I shall now get on with things.

First of all my holiday was fantastic. I got a great tan (unusual for me), did sweet FA except drink & laze about by the pool reading a book charting Johnny Depp's movie career. My only grievence was the lack of sleep I got thanks to my room mate whose name begins with another J so I'll have to call her JN. To save her embarrassment I'll say two words on the subject only - "The Exorcist", which has of course caused much amusement in the office today.

Also while I've been away the boys have had their theory test for their PCV licence. The one that did no revising passed and the one that worked his little tail off, failed. By one point. He was livid last week and is distraught this week, poor thing so he's been getting cuddles every few hours to cheer him up. Unless that was just a ploy to get up close and personal with me. Men are such devious bastards. Anyway he has a re-sit on 30 Jan, I think it is.

Another few things to happen in my absence are: the consultants report is back but it hasn't been circulated to us yet so fuck knows what it says. And JM one of our volunteer drivers has got a job & won't be seeing us anymore. This news has pleased R as I'm sure he thinks JM is a rival for my affection. It wasn't actually JM I was after but his mate so now you know folks.

However the only real thing I have to scream & shout about is working in a male dominated environment. They should just grow up. Its amazing how immature men are. I have had my very life tortured out of me all day for something that supposedly went on at a party on Saturday gone & the guys doing the torturing weren't even there so fuck knows what yarn they've been spun & by who but I'm quite sure what they claimed happened (four words: Big, Brother, Kinga, bottle) DID NOT happen. I should know, considering I was one of the party supposedly involved in this incident & I wasn't so drunk as to not remember anything because I was or indeed am sick of drinking after all the alcohol I had on my hols. And as R says "Even a comatose chav would've felt a Lambrini bottle up their ass". God I love R. He has such a way with words!

So no, guys, it didn't happen. Sorry to crush your little sordid fantasy but hey, that's life. I never knew I was surrounded by such depravity. Men.

Ciao for now x

TJ