Without A Paddle & Two Faced S.O.B's

Well as usual whenever J & E are away everyone else treats this place like a holiday camp & skives off. Except me. Fuck knows why but I don't... anyway the delightful cherubs are back at school which meant all the ditzy secretaries were jamming the phone lines frantically trying to book transport for the year. Our non American is neer around when you need him & further more he can't multi task when it comes to constant phone calls.

IE I'll take three calls on the trot before even having the chance to act on the first call wheras he'll take the first one, act on it & ignore the phone if it rings & he isn't finished dealing with the one he's already got. No matter how many times I tell him it doesn't work that way in an office, he doesn't listen. So I've given up. It just proves women are much better at running offices than men.

On top of that my boss E entrusted me with a very important document that needs to be signed by a specific director & sent back to the Government by 6th Sept. I was supposed to call the Director first thing this morning to remind him to pop in & sign it but I got in to find a message on the answer machine left by his wife saying he'd been taken into hospital.

I nearly joined him with heart failure when I heard it. I was in so much disbelief that I had to replay the message two more times. Just as I was panicking that we'd get shut down & it would be all my fault, a trademark TJ brainwave hit me. If Mohammed can't go to the mountain, then the mountain shall go to Mohammed. I took the possibly risky decision of shutting the office & personally hawked by ass to the hospital to get the damn document signed.

How's that for dedication?! Will I get anymore thanks for it?? Will I fuck. Honestly Don't know why I bother at times. Still other than that I got through the day unscathed. What was that J said about me not being able to cope?? It will be interesting to see how our non American does tomorrow. WHich reminds me I am unimpressed with the guys in general & I mustn't be back in their inner circle yet coz word had it that R had a party on Friday & didn't even invite me whereas he did our miserable non American.

It wasn't done out of friendship though coz according to AF, R deliberately spiked his drinks with Sambuco which is fairly lethal at the best of times. When I asked R about it he just grinned & said it wasn't a party at all as there were only himself, AF & the non American there. It was an excuse to get the bastard back for disobeying me. I love you babes!! xx

And finally I have two jokes for you - I meant to post them Friday but got side tracked over my beloved NH racing. So here they are, courtesy of JC:-

Dave, a Doctor was feeling guilty as he'd slept with one of his patients. A voice inside of him told him it was ok. He wouldn't be the first doctor to sleep with a patient & certainly wouldn't be the last. He started feeling better about it til another little voice said, but Dave, you're a vet.

Its scientifically proven that a women finds her attraction for men changes during different stages of her menstrual cycle. At the beginning she finds rugged looking men attractive. During her menstrual week she prefers her men tarred, feathered & with a baseball bat up their arse.

So true. Ciao for now

TJ